Fear: a: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. ~ Merriam-Webster
I have someone new and exciting in my life; They have an awesome personality; a growing relationship with God; they are well educated; they are goal oriented, and they seem to really take interested in me! OH Brother!!! One would quickly ask, “What’s the problem Pernisha?” and then you would insert the word “now” before my name if you new me well. 🙂 It’s not rare, and it’s not very often that I’m interested in someone who shares similar qualities as myself; full of passion, drive, goals, and experience, not to mention have intellectual conversations with. However, after just a few days of spending time with them, I noticed my attitude shifting from like to fear. In my cute BIG brain, my thoughts go from, “what a great person!” to “my goodness they must really like me.” Then subconsciously, I will begin an array of questions and statements out of fear to send them through the kitchen and out the back door; away from my insecurities and unpredictable mood changes. All because deep down inside somewhere there is fear; fear of being neglected, and not unconditionally loved.
However, the Word says:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Oh how I could read this scripture before getting myself involved with anyone.
Most times, because of my own radical and negative thoughts, I create a foundation of failure for any great friendship or relationship to thrive on, simply of out of fear. But today I recognize that- regardless of who I am choosing to be connected with, I will be setting myself up for loneliness with all these horrible doubts that probably wouldn’t exist if I would stop thinking on them.
“Sometimes the worse only lives in our mind.” Dariana Cruz
Today, I’m learning to put more faith into my relations turning out perfectly ok – as long as God’s word is present before, during and after. I will no longer worry or wonder about “what could or couldn’t be,” but to enjoy each moment with a special someone in honesty and in truth. I can now let go, and let God handle all of my doubts.
There is no bigger relief than releasing. ~Pernisha G.
Ps. It’s all Love.