Today I broke down. All the way down. Probably am still breaking down and being built at the same time. God is good. He is always and always will be.
I’ve been selfish; to everyone, to myself, family, friends, most importantly God. I’ve been ignoring my life and the challenges, sometimes. But, I have a feeling that someone needs me. They need to hear me.
Today God grabbed my attention and lead me to Matthew 15:28, and it read, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted!”
Shortly before I opened my Bible, I thoroughly expressed to God how much I need Him more than ever. He revealed that He hears me (as always). Then my answers came to me. And it was, “I am the reason for all the mess and confusion. My mind, my perspective, my actions, my lack of discipline, and diligence are all of a reflection of irresponsibility. God has always been here and will always be. It is not Him, it is me. I am becoming attached to preventing my consequences, but that is impossible.” Then I started contemplating on how much I “need need need” to be heard, but have been ignoring others who need to be heard as well. God has always shown me (and is reminding me again) that I am not the one to ignore; others need to hear me, and most times they need me to listen. I received another blessful answer and a very true answer; “You are being selfish Pernisha. You don’t what someone is going through. You don’t know what someone is going through. You need to love on someone.” I feel this. I don’t for sure know who yet, but God will show me very soon.
I’ve been faithful, but not consistently. God kept telling me to come to Him and I’ve been ignoring His request; as a result, my circumstances have been pretty messy.
Sometimes, you have bring yourself “down in the dumps” before you go to God. He sometimes make it that way- then we can confess, repent, ask for forgiveness, and then move forward to the next level WITH Him; because nothing is possible without Him.
I am so grateful to be as blessed as I am; sometimes… I forget, and then God steps in to remind me- I’m grateful for that too. 🙂
Thank you Heavenly Father.
I am learning to be present ALL the time. ~Pernisha G.
Ps. It’s all Love.