Dear Diary: Accomplished & Envied


Who wore it best?!

For the past few weeks, I’ve been looking deep inside of myself, trying to get a better understanding of who I am and why I think, do and say certain things. And in doing so, I’m finding that I am easily affected by other people’s successes.  It is very possible that some part of me is envious of others accomplishments. However, should I be? NO!

better2Firstly, if I wanted someone else’s success SO BAD, I would have executed it already! Or, I would stop wasting time planning (which I’m very great at by the way), and go in for the kill. For example, it took me 11yrs to lose 80lbs almost. I had planned and organized what I was going to do until finally I dived right in with the right people and made one of the biggest accomplishments of my life.

Secondly, I am not of the same background as anyone else. I am Pernisha Gaines; I was raised differently from most (even my own family and I have little in common), and I usually don’t have the same privileges as other people. I wasn’t born into richness or even half of half of wealth. I don’t live with my parents. I am not close with my family. I am not jobless.  No one pays my bills but me. I am bored very easily. I always have mini projects that “mean something” going on in my brain. And the list goes on! Two seconds into looking at my life from the outside, you would confirm I’m too busy doing other things to achieve what everyone else is.  And guess what? I am still happy with being talented enough to achieve many small projects. I know I have the ability to do so many things, and so I do.

But, I want another major accomplishment in my life. One that only the rare can achieve; and I think just the word accomplishment alone shakes me up, gives me the chills, makes me “envious”. I want, accomplishment! Smiling to conclude this! Figuring myself out as I type 🙂 better

I’m continuously working through my emotions; and I imagine it will take a while before I am able to master them.

Unless you’re born from the same vagina, grew up exactly the same, were treated equally, look the same, dress the same, share the same emotions, work the same, talk exactly alike, and have the same plans, ideas and visions, there is absolutely no need to compare yourself to others. What is for you, will always be for you; no matter how long it takes for you to achieve it! ~Pernisha G.

Ps. It’s all Love.


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