Recently, (without getting too personal), I saw something disturbing on Instagram, and immediately wanted to do some name calling and knock someone in the face because I felt they were not being respectful of how I would feel about what they were doing. After feeling like a piece of crap for a whole hour I started to question why I was feeling betrayed and disregarded. I felt betrayed because I didn’t feel as though any thought of me mattered to the individual who was doing the dirt. I felt disregarded because this person was showing me that my feelings were invalid and they were no bit of concerned about how I would react. They were being flat-out RUDE!!!
Or was I being rude?
I sat back to think about what I had done to possibly deserve this uneasiness, and of course, after a few thoughts of who’s, what’s and how’s, it hit me. I had been unintentionally rude to friends, family, and those men who shared an attraction towards me. I had done and said many things without ever even considering how THEY would feel. For example, a guy I was previously intimate with had an existing relationship with my closest friend. Their friendship was simply a friendship, and they showed no signs of ever becoming intimate to the extent that he and I did. But, out of respect of her and I relationship, and the relationship between him and her, and lastly the relationship between him and me, I should have asked IF their relationship had the potential to flourish into something deeper. I knew that it wouldn’t, but that was also a very good assumption of my end. Another great example of this is how I act when I KNOW my admirers are staring near. I loudly and effortlessly flirt with other men in front of them and say and do things that would kill their attraction towards me all together. In my mind, how they felt never mattered to me. Hey, I’m single and do as I please, who I please, when I please. But, how would I feel if the shoe was tied on the other foot? In fact, it has been. So interestingly, I have been so quick to forget that lesson but was reminded in the worse and rudest way. Talk about a rude awakening!!
When considering others, the thought is never as surface as you and I – it’s a multi dimensional universe. What I do and say affect him, and them, and sometimes all of us without me even knowing or while not thinking deeply enough. A lack of communication I would say it is, with a lack of thought to trigger the right words and actions.
Needless to say, I went straight to my friend and apologized to her for being a rude jerk for three whole years. She assured me nothing would have ever existed between the two, but if you don’t ask, you’re an a**, for assuming of course. (Oh, and sorry guys!) I have also decided to be mindful of all parties when making a “wise” decision – that might save me a few apologies in the future! As much as I would like to think, “it’s all about me,” I know for a sure fact that the decisions I make for myself have a domino effect on the things and people parading in my life. That said there is not a single room for negative choices. Wouldn’t be much of a parade then, would it?!
As always, thanks for reading and share your thoughts in the comments below!
Ps. It’s all Love.