This goes out to all the fellas out there – with love and kindness.
Very often, I become grossed out by epic vaginal fails. It seems that some men are still very clueless about how to properly care for the vagina while finessing it. Per our conversation, a male friend recently stated to me that a woman’s vagina is solely her responsibility. TSK! TSK! TSK! Fellas this is absolutely the most idiotic statement to agree with. Believe it or not, you are just as responsible for the health of the vagina you’re “dipping in.” Let me fill you in on something really quickly – there is nothing worse than tossing and turning in the middle of the night because your sex bud stored some new bacteria in your vaginal area. Treatment for yeast infections can take anywhere from 3-21 days, and then tack on a few more days for proper healing of the uterus – depending on the severity. Unfortunately, I know not a single man who likes to skip out on sex if he can “get it.” If you can master them, v-respectful by incorporating these easy tips!
Keep your HANDS, MOUTH, PENIS & FACE clean! We’ve all been taught time and time again that our hands need to be washed regularly to decrease bacteria. But because some men actually like the idea of dirt, they are not concerned about the germs from the steering wheel, the door handle, their shoes, their hands, their belt buckles, and most importantly, their NASTY A**CELL PHONES. Have you heard that cell phones carry just as much bacteria as a public toilet seat? That means, every single time you touch your cell, a.k.a. the “public toilet seat,” you transfer those nasty germs to the vagina – and NO healthy happy pearl likes a “public toilet seat” rubbing on them! Ya’ nasty!
Don’t be digging all up in someone’s vagina with your nasty, toilet seat germ infested fingers! Men, the same way you complain about having dirty feet on your penis, is the SAME EXACT WAY a woman feels about having a germ filled finger dipping into their slippery goodies. And when penetrating the ‘gina’ with your cleaned fingers, be smart and do not travel from the anus to the vagina with that same finger. Who wants anus juice in their lady parts?! Who has agreed to this? Let me guess, the pornos’ have inspired you.
Well, let me come clean and confess to you that the porn industry is lying to you. Just like TV and Social Media, it is creating a fantasy of things that should not (and probably don’t) exist. So gullible, are you?! Those “freaky” women (and men) have to pay for the consequences after their shoots are over – this will ALWAYS include constant visits to the doctor’s office; and we ALL know that men DO NOT like taking their nasty behinds to the doctor for anything. You all are lazy enough to send a woman to the doc to clean up your dirty work. Just nasty!
Like you, most of us ladies enjoy oral pleasure; but, do not feed the vagina the food you just ate, the blunt or cigarette or cigar you just smoked, the candy you ate, the plaque you didn’t brush and sometimes, that other puss you licked on a bit earlier (oh yes, I’ve heard the stories). Take two hot seconds and run a toothbrush and mouthwash through your mouth. What woman is going to complain if you brush your teeth properly before you devour the private pearl? “Not I,” said this cat!
Yes it might feel great, but keep your dirty-fungus holding beard away from the vagina!!! Who wants all the particles from your everyday life between their legs?! If a public toilet seat holds germs and it’s stationed in the restroom, imagine how many germs your beard holds from being in the public eye after not washing it for a few days. How would you feel if I put my 30 day old (sweating everyday-rolling on the nasty gym floor for sit-ups – slathered in chemicals from hair products) hair in your mouth, and consequently watch your tongue turn black… because it happens and it can!
Now, for whatever reason, let’s assume you “just don’t have time” to wash your hands and brush your teeth before finessing the feminine parts, so you hop right to some deep penetration. Your meat is hard and it’s ready to join forces! Hooray your penis! But when we look closely, the lint from your boxer and briefs are stuck to your skin from the dingle-berries to the tip. Now if you practice safe sex, you might be wondering, “well if I’m using a condom, what does that matter?” Perfect! All of the lint and particles sticking to your “manhood” will come sliding out of the condom, down to the shaft, and right in to the… you got it, VAGINA!
I can already assume what most men will say to this “clean your ish” request… “Who has time to think about all of that?!” I DO – and also, many of us women who have been vulnerable to yeast infections because the “man” keeps failing to do his part. If you want the vagina to work properly and ALL THE TIME, ANYTIME… V-Respectful! It is so darn depressing not being able to have sex for 3-21 days because you’re “lover” didn’t do simple hygienic tasks like, brush his teeth, wash his face and his hands. Didn’t your mother teach your better than that?!
Ps. It’s all Love.