Is sex before marriage REALLY worth it? Now, I may come off as the “bitter black woman” for my tone, but I will not be discouraged by ignorance. I have a very valid (and long overdue) point to bring to the forefront. As a young woman, I have had my fair share of hurts, heart breaks and have had to work through many disturbing consequences (mentally and physically) while having premarital sex. Yes, it is true that sexual disruptions happen while married and commonly while in committed relationships. However, being single and deciding to “sleep” with even just one partner increases your chances of contracting STD’s. But I ask you again, is it REALLY worth it?
Ladies, who ever said, “if he doesn’t respect your vagina and/or your well-being, kick him to the curb” was not lying to you. I know, easier said than done sometimes, right? It can be quite challenging to kick a sexy-succulent Boris Kodjoe look-a-like off of you in the heat of the moment; especially, while he’s all in your ear and on your neck pleading about how much he really “wants” you. But, if you’re going to allow him to please you sexually, he NEEDS to use proper protection while penetrating downtown. We cannot hear it enough, “use condoms, they might save your life.” You will not be able to protect yourself from every STD using a condom, but at least you took that 98% precaution that some people don’t or are very lackadaisical about! Again, is it WORTH it?
Being honest as possible…
He WILL tell you…
“You haven’t had ‘it’ that good yet!”
“I puts it down!”
“I will have you screaming my name!”
“I can make that p*ssy wetter than a…!”
“You need that ‘good good’!”
“Live a little!”
“Make it nasty!”
“Make it rain!”
“Let me just see it!”
“We’ve been having sex all this time without a condom!”
“Let me play with it!”
“Let me stick the head in!”
“You need to let your guard down!”
“Don’t worry, I pull out!”
“I don’t ‘have nothing’, you good!”
“Alright, just put your lips on it!”
“You’re the only one I’m ‘sleeping’ with!”
“I just got checked!”
“I wanna make you cum!”
And there is much more of where that non-sense came from (and you can add in the comments below).
A man will sell his penis and his sex so well that it will sound like an offer you can’t refuse- I’ve had it happen to me plenty of times. Recently, a guy (and friend) told me, “I practice a healthy lifestyle,” but when I turned on the lights to make sure the condom was still on… it wasn’t! He had taken it off or had NEVER put it on! NO YOU CAN’T TRUST THEM WITH YOUR LIFE! Learn that really fast and save yourself some heartache! No matter how old they are, or how old you get, you need to protect yourself just the same. A couple of years ago, I had another guy say to me, “Why you trippin’, we don’t need a condom!” I didn’t need to put him out – guys will get so mad that they will run out of your house if they only came for sex and you aren’t going to give it to them. So, he ran, and I let him leave cold, horny and bitter. Some time ago, while in the general public, I heard some random guy blab about how he uses the “pull out method” to protect himself from getting a female pregnant. That was amongst one of the stupidest things I’ve heard a guy say. Oh, and exactly who is being protected from STD’s using this method? Surely NOT you! But is it worth it?!
Just “KNOWING YOUR STATUS” is NOT ENOUGH!!
As a reminder, if you have unprotected sex (vaginal or orally), and you have contracted an STD without your knowing, you will pass this STD on to your next sexual partner. For example:
On Sunday morning, you have unprotected sex with Kenneth and he has AIDS.
On Monday morning, you let Bobby taste your newly waxed vagina and his tongue was amazing!
On Tuesday night, because you didn’t let Bobby penetrate you, he goes have sex with Pamela who rides on the ‘d’ raw all night long.
On Wednesday, the doctor calls you in for your PAP results and you are negative for all STD’s.
Six months later, you go back to the doctor for a culture checkup.
Two weeks later, the doctor reveals to you that you have contracted a deadly virus.
Because the condom didn’t “feel good,” or “you forgot,” or, “he said he was clean,” or, “he just put the tip in,” you will be forced to end your life earlier than expected and along with three or more other individuals. Is it WORTH it?
I know the television and the billboards, and your momma and daddy, and your friends, and your sister or brother, oh and music videos GLORIFY SEX! Having sex is definitely “IN” honey. But is losing your life for a moment of really good sex worth it?!
Well, is it?!
Be smarter and wiser by choosing life over a quick moment of pleasure. Find a group of friends who will strengthen you in those times when you are weak. If you don’t know any, go to church, pray or stay strapped at the very least.
Ps. It’s all Love.