Some men and women have a tendency to allow each other to drive themselves insane. They tear each other down, build each other up and only to break each other down again. But why?! I decided to switch gears a little bit and allow others to give their unique advice and stories about how both men and women can be damaging to each other. Perhaps knowing the how will open the door to finding a resolution for repairing some part of broken relationships.
Here’s what the women had to say!
Jamila: …The death of a good girl does not happen when she is a young woman who has dated the last man who broke her heart. A good girl does not parish with her heart first, but with her mind and her perception “OF” (all things). Her mind must have the capabilities to make the best decisions for HER BEST INTERESTS, not in the interest of men. If she does that, a part of her character is relinquished to fulfill his ego. Jamila Gomez
…The life of love or the power of love is lost when we allow others to control what we do with our hearts.
…Continue to be a good girl/woman and resurrect the meaning of life which is to love.
Chanell: …A woman can become damaged by a man when she does not have a strong sense of who she is yet. From experience, becoming bitter and angry comes from ALLOWING a man to continuously belittle/degrade/disrespect/humiliate/ you. Believing what we ‘think’ is love is somehow supposed to wash away any foul thing that a man does – because when you are in love, you stick it through and don’t leave when things get hard. Not knowing that each disrespectful act is chipping away at the very essence that makes a woman so beautiful. It slowly chips away at her confidence, her self-respect, her dignity, until she’s left to reflect at whom she has become and resents the man. Chanell Parsons
Margo: There are numerous factors leading up to the point of a bitter woman’s heart, some from absent fathers, some from a hard knot life itself, some from poor relationship and abuse just to name a few.
…discarding, devaluing, and degrading speaks volumes towards any value or esteem she once had.… Those very “Good girls/woman” are now forced to grow stronger in their defenses, aiming towards guarding their hearts better than any guard dog ever could, building mountain tall walls that not even the best guys with loving hearts can climb.
…she has to study him before she invests her time, attention and especially gives up the goodies. …A zebra will eventually show his stripes if that’s who he truly is/are.
…Bad guys, create bitter women just as bad girls create bitter men. And it seems the only cure for a bitter heart is an open heart that’s willing to try love again! …Bitterness is indeed of course always a choice. …Bitterness should never be a destination is more like a place; no one should often visit or stay.
In a nutshell, wait, listen, watch, pay attention to red flags, protect your heart, and slowly invest.
Margo D. Grant at email@example.com, email: firstname.lastname@example.org
McCrae: As young girls, we dream of being whisked away into a romance that rivals Harlequin novels and story tales. Don’t act like you haven’t done this at some point in your life. …But life happens and situations occur. Things become misconstrued, miscommunicated and manipulated.
...Is the problem necessarily about the good girl who goes bad? Or is it that the man who mistreated her, was once the hurt and mistreated by someone else? …We can blame it on the men. How easy would that be? Let’s make a playlist of all our “girl he ain’t shit” songs made by Beyoncé and so forth. We call up our friends so they can confirm what he chose to ignore all along – that he lies and manipulates; that our provisions to justify his uncouth actions didn’t work after all. To get over this breakup, we go out and chat with new men to get over the last one. But damn, it happens all over again. Bitterness sets in, and it becomes “play or be played.”
…Did anyone of us ever choose to stop and think for a split second that once upon a time, our ex (or current) boyfriend, spouse, homie-lover-friend was an innocent young lad that wanted romance the way you wanted it? … And …Quite possibly, that woman who crushed his hopes of finding his own queen was just like you. Hurt just like you. Cried alone just like you. And vowed to never be hurt again… just like you.
Ashley: …Men can damage women if they are verbally and emotionally abusive. Some men can leave a negative impact on a woman’s self-esteem if he tells her she’s not good enough, beautiful enough or doubts her in any way. Women can become rude, bitter or angry if she was once betrayed or unappreciated by her man. Ashley Caprice at www.ashleycaprice.com
Monica: …What makes a woman angry, bitter or hateful towards men, usually stems from how they were hurt by their father.
…The problem stems from most women not being built up in a positive and loving environment where they hear constant loving affirmations; Parents are not spending quality time with their children and being involved with their everyday lives.
…Young men know or maybe even see their fathers being a womanizer so they feel like that is what a man is supposed to be. The solution will always be in the foundation. How that child is built usually determines how they will be later.
How do you feel about what these women had to say? What’s your unique story?