Some men and women have a tendency to allow each other to drive themselves insane. They tear each other down, build each other up and only to break each other down again. But why?! I decided to switch gears a little bit and allow others to give their unique advice and stories about how both men and women can be damaging to each other. Perhaps knowing the how will open the door to finding a resolution for repairing some part of broken relationships. The ladies have shared their thoughts in Part 1. Here’s what the MEN had to say!
Terrance: …The consensus from my closest friends is that nothing is never good enough. No matter what they do, certain women refuse to be happy. Now, the refusal of happiness could be something that went sour in a previous relationship. Who knows! For me, it’s difficult to let my guard down.
Richard: …A good guy avoids trouble and stays away from events that aren’t bettering him. She calls him a coward a punk – different emasculating words like that. When the guy was raised always to avoid confrontation, prefers the next person and a woman comes along and tells him he’ll never be anything with an attitude, it negatively impacts his mind and his whole view of life…
…When a man is trying to make logical progress in life a woman who is trying to make emotional progress will cause him to change directions and walk in circles having no exact destination. Then when she doesn’t comfort him or build him up and make him believe he is doing anything right, he becomes the little boy again, constantly getting scolded by his parents. The words a woman says to a man has the power to make him a king or a flattened ant. Once a man has allowed a woman to enter his mind or heart she controls his whole destiny. So, bringing up past mistakes hurts fears and breaking the trust he has in her makes him turn into a bad guy that will never trust again and live like the players that don’t worry it about anyone. Richard Tubbs Smith Facebook/Richardtubbssmith Twitter@Tubbsmuzik Instagram@Richardtubbs.
Anonymous: …I never felt like I was good enough. Nothing I did pleased her. I kept trying and changed my ways but it was never what she wanted. Eventually I left. But she was ruining my confidence and self-esteem. Now I want someone who is the exact opposite of who she is/was. Unfortunately, I still have confidence issues, but I’m working on them.
Fidel: Women can be damaging by not understanding the word reciprocate. If I’m highly interested in you, I will do everything in my power to show you. Dates, texting, phone calls, understanding your dreams, aspirations and goals. But what I find that women have is this mindset is that someone owes them something, and because of that, they are not willing to give in the beginning. So when a pursuit becomes a chase it becomes energy drained for me.
…we live in a microwave generation so we want things fast – from money, a mate, success, etc. I also have encountered women who have no tolerance or patience, and at the first sign of trouble they throw a man to the curb. No one is made perfect, come from perfect situations, and everyone deserves second chances. But there are women who have low tolerance and expect for a man to be perfect. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! …Society has made us this way – our parents have not taught us endurance and it spills over into our dating lives.
…I was pursuing this woman about 3yrs ago, she was about 4yrs older, had her a nice car, house, owned her own business – one of those highly religious women. At the time, I lived at home with my mom, drove an average car, and was struggling financially – still searching for life. She dealt with me because she was attracted to me, but when it came to us being serious, it was like she kept me in friend mode. Kept telling me I had potential, and that to be with her I had to find God, blah, blah, blah. She made me feel like I was beneath her because I wasn’t where she was in life at the moment. …See this is damaging because no 2 people will ever be at the same place in life. And women are quick to look down on men because of what they don’t have at the moment…
…Just like there are crazy, rude, Jack ass dudes online, they’re in the club, or any other social setting. It’s about taking the time out truly get to know someone. Love is a risk.
…woman not taking accountability/responsibility for the men they choose and good men being punished for it. I rarely here a woman say, “I’m single because I made bad relationship choices.” It’s always because he cheated, he is crazy, etc. But never because I made a bad choice. I didn’t do enough, I didn’t listen to him, I wasn’t sexual enough, I didn’t cook, I didn’t support him etc.
…Women who choose men based off height, weight, ethnicity, religion, tattoos, money and all the superficial ish they have you fill out on profiles or what you see in person: Instead of character, standards, ethics, ambition, values, things that are internal. This is tricky because attraction is visual – we like what we see. You ever notice when you go out on a date and the first thing your friends ask is what does he look like? Not how did he treat you on the date, or what his character is like? This is damaging and tricky because women like what they like, but when what they like is not working, they never say let me look at a man with better character – he might be a little heavier, not quite attractive, but I bet that man will be your best mate ever! I’m not saying woman should date someone not close to being on their level, but women have to start compromising. I’ve been told by women that it’s not that they don’t like me, but I’m not tall enough for them. Now since when did being 6ft make you a good man? Never. But that’s what women get attracted to and disregard everything else about a man – when you could have had the man who was your same height, not an ass, and respected you… That is the biggest damaging thing I see that women do to men. Any man can lose weight, make more money, get a tattoo, etc. But if he has bad external characteristics then what is the point?
Did you enjoy what the men had to say, or did you disagree?
If you have a unique story, I welcome you to share in the comments below.
Thanks for reading!
Ps. It’s all Love