“Stop… think about it.” ~Various
Not too long ago, I celebrated my 29th birthday. Shortly before, I had plenty of time to reflect on where I am and who I have been. Goodness! There are so many obstacles in my life that I have yet to conquer alone.
For the past 6 years, I was employed at a job I thoroughly hated – yea I know, it’s such an intense word, but it’s almost true. Nothing disappointed me more than traveling through the horrific Los Angeles Public Transportation System, sitting and greeting, and billing, and assisting, and answering, day after day only to feel like I’m wasting fourteen hours of my day – 3,640 hours a year of my life! Last September, I decided to take one of the biggest risks of my life, and that was to leave my 9 to 5 – my only source of financial security. And January 4th 2014, I left. I have been healing ever since. But, I am so blessed and wowed that I had the courage to release a relationship with a place that had little to no purpose in my life (at that moment). If you’ve been dreading going to work every Monday, it’s time your start doing some serious evaluating.
Last year, I also killed majority of my luscious, tightly curled dark chocolate hair, and have grown used to my new tom-boyish and playfully seductive cropped and colored locks. Sometimes I miss my big juicy hair – tangles, headaches, plats, detangle days and all. But other times, I feel the desire to shave or burn my hair gone. During my short hair journey, I have received plenty of snarls men. I have been called a lesbian and a dike, and have been looked at weirdly (which is unusual in that aspect). But, having my hair short has definitely increased my esteem and I value the fact that it is a reflection of how bold and true I am to myself (for not meeting the expectations of others).
Oh! My face! That physical feature that differentiates me entirely! Again, last year, back in the head of summer, I came across this awesome article about how the caveman regimen could assist me with acne and breakouts by regulating my natural PH balance. Do you know about this? I tried it, and have definitely noticed the transition. I’ve surprisingly discovered that my face is consistently on schedule with menstrual breakouts (like now); when I am “cheat” eating with dairy products; when I tussle all night, or I am short of a full 8-hours of sleep; and lastly, when I’m not busting a waterfall from workouts, my face questions me. My face is a reminder of how challenging it can be for me to eat healthier. What are you doing to keep your face in check?
My relationships with friends and family are always being evaluated, and I don’t take that lightly. It’s easy to just let people do and say to you as they please. There isn’t much disagreement or confrontation, and God KNOWS I do not like arguments. Also, I love my family and friends, even though I feel the urge to punch them all in the neck every blue moon. Consequently, I’ve learned the easiest way to be true to myself and with them, is to be as honest as possible. I am learning to express how I TRULY feel and what I REALLY want. Now that I am a little more mature, I accept the fact that they will not be or do what I want them to; and that’s becoming ok with me. A good friend – the one I keep mentioning in most of my blogs – reminds me that people will automatically remove themselves from my life when our relationship isn’t aligned with my purpose and goals. So all I really have to do is be honest and do as I was called. It definitely is easier said than done however. How’s your relationship with your friends and family? Do you evaluate your relationships as much as I do?
Coincidentally, when I started this blog I was in the beginning stages of going full throttle in my success journey. Since then, it has been the most stressful, time consuming, revealing and frustrating time of my life so far and I have the extra 35lbs to show it!
Though I have short, unbearable and unfortunate circumstances (like pretty much everyone else), they have helped me accomplish how to grow from the inside out; by pausing everything on play in my mind, taking a few moments to understand what is true, and respond to life’s fireballs like Serena Williams – and I could never be more proud at this time during the journey! Regardless of where I am (or how far I wish I have gotten by now, or the idiotic decisions I have made that left me feeling unworthy and undeserving), I come from somewhere (and I’m still moving upward); and that’s called growing. From the bottom to the top, right?! And yet, that’s enough to celebrate. At this moment, I have decided to put everything on pause, and celebrate where I’m at. And you should too!
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Ps. It’s all Love.